Join
two contests

Blog


NFL Betting Power Rankings – Week 7

Posted by Matthew Forrester on 10/23/2015 2:06:21 PM

Do you want to know how hard it is to rank these teams when crazy things happen each and every week? Here are three crazy things that made my life hell last week:

New Orleans was dead in the water for all intents and purposes until they throttled Atlanta last Thursday in a game nobody could’ve seen coming.

Pittsburgh toppled Arizona in the upset of the week using a third string quarterback and a receiver who hasn’t done a damn thing all season.

Detroit won a game.

So how did your favorite team do this week? Read on to find out!

1. GREEN BAY PACKERS (6-0 SU and 5-1 ATS)

Can we just all agree that Eddie Lacy isn’t what we think he is? James Starks just ripped off 112 yards and a score on 12 carries, and now the Packers are going with the hot hand. No wonder Green Bay never invests in tailbacks. They finally land one who’s supposed to be franchise worthy and he can’t even fend off James Starks.

Next Game: BYE WEEK

2. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (5-0 SU and 3-2 ATS)

Can someone please tell me why New England suddenly stopped giving a crap with FIFTEEN MINUTES LEFT IN THE GAME WHEN I HAVE MONEY TO WIN?! They did this against Pittsburgh in Week 1 and allowed the Colts and Steelers to both cover because they turned in to lazy, “let’s get this over with” mode. Unfortunately, Clock Killin’ LaGarette Blount doesn’t have the same ring to it as when Corey Dillon carried the moniker. God, I miss Corey Dillon. That guy killed so many clocks.

Next Game: NYJ at New England -7.5

3. CINCINNATI BENGALS (6-0 SU and 5-0-1 ATS)

We live in a world where Andy Dalton is an actual MVP candidate. Be very afraid.

Next Game: BYE WEEK

4. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (4-2 SU and 5-0-1 ATS)

They’re this good without Ben Roethlisberger…imagine when he comes back.

Next Game: Pittsburgh at Kansas City

5. CAROLINA PANTHERS (5-0 SU and 4-1 ATS)

Don’t say I didn’t warn you! On a side note (in an article that is basically nothing but side notes), is there a less intimidating name out there in the NFL than “Devin Funchess”? I can’t even say it without giggling a little bit.

Next Game: Philadelphia at Carolina -3

6. DENVER BRONCOS (6-0 SU and 4-2 ATS)

Unless Peyton Manning books a flight to Germany and/or covers his arm in moose antler spray for the bye week, I’m not touching the Broncos with spreads greater than four points.

Next Game: BYE WEEK

7. NEW YORK JETS (4-1 SU and ATS)

I don’t know what I have to do to convince you that the Jets are a real threat in the AFC. I know you see the green and white, and Ryan Fitzpatrick at quarterback, but this team is really good. It’s a dumb year! Join the madness!

Next Game: NYJ at New England -7.5

8. ARIZONA CARDINALS (4-2 and ATS)

Ok so that game against St. Louis wasn’t an aberration. The Cardinals are going to have good games and bad games. It’s simply what happens in the NFL. Relax.

Next Game: Baltimore at Arizona -8 (Monday Night)

9. ATLANTA FALCONS (5-1 SU and 4-2 ATS)

Just as everybody predicted, Devonta Freeman is leading the league in rushing touchdowns. And yes, it’s a weird list because Jeremy Hill is second, while LaGarrette Blount is tied for third with Jamaal Charles (who hasn’t played for two weeks).

Next Game: Atlanta -6 at Tennessee

10. MINNESOTA VIKINGS (3-2 SU and 4-1 ATS)

Yup, this season is so bad, a team that barely beat Kansas City is the 10th best in the league in terms of betting options. If you don’t think they belong up here, I’m inclined to agree with you, but only 10 teams are batting about .500 in terms of ATS record. These Vikings are amongst them.

Next Game: Minnesota -1.5 at Detroit

11. CLEVELAND BROWNS (2-4 SU and 4-2 ATS)

My friend and I were batting around ideas for Isaiah Crowell’s nickname. “Crow” seems lazy. But since he’s a running back, “Crow’s Feet” seemed appropriate…until it was usurped by “George Clooney’s Eyes” since that man has probably the best crow’s feet of anyone in the business. In any case, long story short, I’m calling him George Clooney’s Eyes now.

Next Game: Cleveland at St. Louis -6.5

12. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (3-3 SU and ATS)

Excerpt from last week: “The Eagles have got to be the Kool-Aid team of 2015.” Pass me the red stuff, guys! I’m in! OH YEAAAAAHHH!!!

Ohhhh wait! They’re playing Carolina?! Urggghhhh.

Next Game: Philadelphia at Carolina -3

13. BUFFALO BILLS (3-3 SU and ATS)

You know how Sammy Watkins came out and said that he needs the ball ten times a game? I get it. He’s probably their best player at this point on offence. But he’s never had a 10+ catch game ever. And you know why that matters regardless of who his quarterback has been? Because of DeAndre Hopkins. Shut up and play, Sammy.

Next Game: Buffalo -4.5 vs. Jacksonville (London Game)

14. ST. LOUIS RAMS (2-3 SU and ATS)

GIVE IT TO GURLEY GIVE IT TO GURLEY GIVE IT TO GURLEY GIVE IT TO GURLEY GIVE IT TO GURLEY DON’T LET FOLES THROW GIVE IT TO GURLEY

Next Game: Cleveland at St. Louis -6.5

15. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (2-4 SU and ATS)

Quite possibly the most difficult team to gauge in terms of betting. With Rivers lighting up the universe, they have backdoor cover written all over them. And they keep going toe-to-toe with really good teams, losing by an average of -5.3 points against Cincinnati, Green Bay and Pittsburgh. A few more lucky bounces (or Melvin Gordon actually being useful) and this is a completely different season for the Chargers.

Next Game: Oakland at San Diego -3.5

16. NEW YORK GIANTS (3-3 SU and ATS)

You know why the Giants can’t get offences rolling? Because you could run Rashad Jennings seventeen times in a row and defenses still wouldn’t adjust against him.

Next Game: Dallas at NYG -3.5

17. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (3-3 SU and 2-4 ATS)

Andrew Luck is back! I think? Sadly, this defence is still made of ripped jeans and swiss cheese. Their game against the Saints is making every handicapper sweat more than they usually do (because we’re a bunch of overweight alcoholics who don’t have regular sleeping patterns).

Next Game: New Orleans at Indianapolis -4

18. OAKLAND RAIDERS (2-3 SU and ATS)

I ranked Oakland waaaaay too high last week, so here we are. Oakland is going to live and die in that tasty Vegas-zone. They’ve failed to cover games where they are +/- 3.0, but they’re 2-1 ATS when the line is higher. The overriding sentiment about Raiders-Chargers is that Rivers is coming off of a 500-yard game and playing against the second worst secondary in the league. I wish betting was that simple, but it’s not. Let’s give Oakland a chance before we drop them off at foster care for someone else to care about.

Next Game: Oakland at San Diego -3.5

19. WASHINGTON REDSKINS (2-4 SU and 3-3 ATS)

There is less and less to like about Washington, a team that truly looks like it’s about to give up on their coach. I’m calling it now because I don’t want to get trapped under the bus when it rolls over all the Washington backers. Don’t worry, I was one of them early on. Not any more.

Next Game: Tampa at Washington -3.5

20. MIAMI DOLPHINS (2-3 SU and ATS)

An actual headline from the Miami New Times reads, “Dan Campbell Should Be Dolphins Head Coach Next Season”. For a win over the Titans? Seriously?!

Next Game: Houston at Miami -4.5

21. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (2-4 SU and 3-3 ATS)

22. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (2-4 SU and 1-4-1 ATS)

Don’t worry Seattle. Nothing bad happens when you suddenly lose all your games and the team turns on its head coach! Just ask your most hated rival!

Next Game: Seattle at San Francisco (Thursday Night)

23. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (2-3 SU and ATS)

In one of my favorite subplots of the Bucs, Doug Martin’s never ending battle with the nickname “Muscle Hamster” has hit another interesting chapter. He hates the nickname, largely because it actually belonged to his college girlfriend who was a gymnast at Boise State.

The first rule of nicknames is that if you absolutely hate it, it’s going to stick. The second is that you never give yourself a nickname. The third is that you embrace a totally awesome nickname, like Muscle Hamster.

So what’s he done? He’s gone and tagged himself “Dougernaut”. After putting up with a nickname that he hated and was never his to begin with, I think we can allow this, even if we all love calling him Muscle Hamster, right?

Next Game: Tampa at Washington -3.5

24. CHICAGO BEARS (2-4 SU and 3-3 ATS)

One of the trickier plays because of what your brain tells you when you see “Jay Cutler”. It’s almost an automatic no-go for most bettors. But I warned you about this a few weeks ago: Chicago is an upstart betting team in most seasons. They’re on a 3-0 ATS hot streak right now and play Minnesota at home after the bye week. Tell me you’re not a little bit interested in them as 5-point dogs.

Next Game: BYE WEEK

25. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (2-4 SU and 3-3 ATS)

Before we all go back to anointing the Saints as spread busting heroes, are we really ready to invest in a team that’s needed Willie Snead and an 87 year old Ben Watson to lead the team in receiving?

Next Game: New Orleans at Indianapolis -4

26. TENNESSEE TITANS (1-4 SU and 3-2 ATS)

Aaaaannnnd there go the wheels off the bus…right in to the gutter where they catch fire and set everyone ablaze. Speaking of tire fires, how about that Tennessee backfield!

Next Game: Atlanta -6 at Tennessee

27. DALLAS COWBOYS (2-3 SU and 1-4 ATS)

Dez: “Hey, Tony, you healthy yet?”

Romo: “Nah man, gonna be a few more weeks. How you doing?”

Dez: “Uhhh…yeah…*sees Matt Cassell walking by* probably a few more weeks too.”

Next Game: Dallas at NYG -3.5

28. DETROIT LIONS (1-5 SU and ATS)

GOD DAMNIT, CAN’T I HAVE ONE HILARIOUS THING THIS SEASON?! FIRST WE LOSE THE WINLESS ATS RECORD AND NOW THE ACTUAL WINLESS RECORD!

Next Game: Minnesota -1.5 at Detroit

29. HOUSTON TEXANS (1-5 SU and ATS)

I loved DeAndre Hopkins in Hard Knocks. I wanted the whole show to revolve around him instead of Bill O’Brien’s potty mouth. How he’s able to do what he does with two moronic quarterbacks is amazing.

Next Game: Houston at Miami -4.5

30. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (1-5 SU and ATS)

I love it when people pile on a backup running back they’ve never seen play in fantasy, especially when he’s replacing an all-world player like Jamaal Charles. I hate it when I’m one of those people. I hate me some me.

Next Game: Pittsburgh at Kansas City

31. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (1-5 SU and 2-4 ATS)

I feel like I’m going to use this space to defend Blake Bortles for the rest of the season. He had a decent day in with 331 yards, 3 touchdowns and 3 picks in a 20-31 loss…but few things are becoming more entertaining as Bortles reacting to a pick. He acts like a big baby. Actually, he acts like Phillip Rivers, but with a fatter face.

Next Game: Buffalo -4.5 vs. Jacksonville (London Game)

32. BATLIMORE RAVENS (1-5 SU and 0-5-1 ATS)

All’s quiet on the “Joe Flacco is an elite QB” front these days…

Next Game: Baltimore at Arizona -8 (Monday Night)

Archives

two contests
NorthBet

© 2010-2021
NorthBet.ag

1-888-720-2350

[email protected]